
Whenever I’m speaking to a group about networking at least one person asks, “But what do you say (or talk about) when you first meet someone?” And someone else will inevitably ask, “What do you say (or do) when there’s a lull in the conversation?”
My response to both questions is the same. First decide if the person is really in the mood to talk to you. If you feel like someone doesn’t really want to talk to you, it’s no big deal. Move on to someone else.
If the person seems willing to engage in conversation then remember this. It’s one of the supreme laws of networking.
Make fewer statements; ask more questions.
The timeless advice offered by Dale Carnegie in How to Win Friends & Influence People is that you “allow the other person to do a great deal of the talking.”
The easiest way to keep the other person talking and loving you the entire time is to ask the right kind of open-ended questions.
Why?
Because open-ended questions require more than a yes or no response and show that you are interested in the other person. These types of questions help to build and maintain rapport.
Here are 10 powerful networking questions – listed in no particular order – to keep awkward silence and fruitless small talk at bay. The insightful answers to these questions keep conversations moving once you get past “Where are you from?” and “So, what brings you here today?”
1. How did you get involved in…?
People like to tell their story. Give them an opportunity to do so while you listen attentively and they’ll love you.
VARIATIONS:
1a. What made you decide to major in…?
1b. What made you decide to attend (name of school)?
1c. What made you decide to go into the ___business?
1d. How did you get your start in the ___ business?
This is a great follow up question to #1. It shows your humility and allows for mentoring.
VARIATION:
What advice would you give someone just starting in this business/profession/major?
This question keeps happy feelings in the air.
And just in case you’re wondering whether or not it’s a good idea to ask what a person likes the least about what he or she does, the answer is no, unless you’re in the same line of work or major.
In which case, the answer will help you to find a common enemy IF you dislike the same things. If not, then disagreement ensues. My advice is to keep it positive whenever possible.
VARITATAION:
What do you love/enjoy most about your business/profession/major?
VARIATIONS:
4a. What separates your business/company/organization from the competition?
4b. What separates your school from other schools like it?
VARIARTIONS:
5a. What one thing would you do with your business if you knew that you could not fail?
5b.What one thing would you do if you knew you were guaranteed to succeed?
When you ask this question resist the temptation to interject your own horror tale. Remember – “let the other person do a great deal of the talking.”
VARIATIONS:
6a. What was the strangest or funniest incident you’ve experienced at your school?
6b. What was the strangest or funniest incident you’ve experienced in your organization? (e.g. Sorority or fraternity)
VARIATIONS:
7a. What significant changes have you seen take place at your school since you’ve been here?
7b. What significant changes have you seen take place in your major since you chose it?
VARIATIONS:
8a. How do think your school will be different in the future?
8b. What do you see as the coming trends in your major?
8c. What do you think will change about your major in the future?
Another very thought provoking question. Normally it is best used later in the conversation. You're not interviewing someone; you're networking.
VARIATIONS:
9a. If some were to describe your business/company/school in one sentence what would he say?
9b. What ways have you found to be the most effective for promoting your business/organization/product?
This question will take someone to a happy place and help you to know her outside of professional or academic life.
VARIATION:
What do you like to do in your spare time?
BONUS:
The Million-Dollar Question: What would make someone the ideal employee for your company or organization?
The information you glean from this answer is priceless. It will allow you to give a person exactly what he or she wants. It will also help you to position yourself as a great asset to the person and his company.
VARIATIONS:
a. How would you describe the ideal client/customer/prospect/employee for your company/organization?
b. What would make someone a perfect fit for your profession/major/school/company/organization?
There is no need to memorize all 11 of these questions. Just start off with the 3 or 4 you like the most. Master them and then give the others a test run.
Keep in mind that no question in the world will help you be a better networker if you are not truly interested in the other person.
So, be interested, ask questions, and let the other person do the talking.



5 comments:
I think these questions work really well for professional networking but they can really be used in any social situation I encounter. I cant wait to test it out! Both ways!
True indeed Marguerite. These questions work at well a career fair, a picnic, or on a plane...might even get you a date :) (But don't try to get a date at the career fair) Let me know about any success stories you have using them and I'll publish them on Elevate U (if that's okay with you).
I copied these questions to my PDA and try to remember them. I'm having hard time finding the questions to ask, even after reading Larry King's "How to talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere"...
early riser,
A lot of people have a hard time finding the right questions to ask. People know they should network but they don't know what to say. Some people even know HOW to network but once again, they don't know WHAT to ask or say. That's why I wrote this article.
Let me know how the questions work out for you, okay? Keep in mind that there's no need to remember all of them. Use the ones you like the most.
thank
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